we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
