he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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