Fine. I'll sleep in my office
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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