we have officially lost it.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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