One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I touched a dick in church today
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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