Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
