We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
