Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
