you guys were way drunker than both of me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
