summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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