so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
