Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
