We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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