apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
