Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
