so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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