Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
