I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
