I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it because I queefed?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
