I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
