So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm passing your future prison.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
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i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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