Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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