i think my mom watched the whole time
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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