Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
