her vagine was all disorganized.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
