so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
