Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
