If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
