Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
