do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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