well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
