i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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