dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
