i think my mom watched the whole time
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
