Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
