Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
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It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
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I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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