Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
