How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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