You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
