I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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