So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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