When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
