Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
