hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
