It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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