i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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