Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
