I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
