When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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