I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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