The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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