just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
