in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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