Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
