look no pants
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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