youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
