I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
