Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
What a dumb baby whore.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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