whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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