...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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