My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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