Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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