dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
NoShamevember. You game?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
