So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
