it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
