i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
