If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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