my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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