doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
