There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
