just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
