singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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