So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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